Listening to the Heartbeat of God in Grief

Listening to the Heartbeat of God in Grief


The delicate shedding of the
Very last autumn leaves
Waving golden leaves of love
Pure colour glistening with rain
Leading me
Closer to the soft voice
The heartbeat
Of God in my own heart

Sadness, missing and longing, guilt, remorse, regret and despair are some of the deep feelings in grief that, whilst on the darker spectrum of the emotional scale, can paradoxically bring us into great intimacy with God.  Faith is not all about seeing the joy and goodness in life.  Becoming closer to God is about coming into greater contact and awareness of whatever arises, even if it is uncomfortable and painful.

One of the gifts of the less joyous emotions is that their muted quality often leads us into a state of introspection, in which we become withdrawn and quiet with those feelings, maybe because that is the only way in which we can tolerate them.  It is often in this space though, that the feelings of aloneness that are evoked are transformed into a serene landscape of solitude, a place that makes way for deep listening.

It is in this place of profound silence and inclusivity, a place where everything belongs, that we can witness the sacred quietness, the gentle whispers always present, often unnoticed, that birth an embrace filled with the complexity and simplicity of life, otherwise known as God.